How did I get home?

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WRITTEN LAST FRIDAY>>>

So this afternoon I had my first visit to Dr. L. As usual I was in a hurry to be there on time, trying to anticipate travel time including traffic delays. PAUSE>>

>>BITCH; Damn traffic delays - 4 minutes one day, 88 minutes the next - they are just never ever reliable - reminds me of someone I know - not mentioning any names of course - but you know who you are - actually NO wait a second, you dont - you wouldnt have a clue that you are, not only, the most unreliable person I know but would most likely be the top pick for this title with everyone YOU know! - P.S. I know too many people for your unreliable additions to make some type of unreliable total out of!!
Oh and by the way, sometimes I laugh with you but mostly I laugh at you. >>>STOP.


<

PLAY>Anticipating delays to see Dr. L, got me to my appointment with a good 20 minutes to spare. I parked the car and went on my way to find his practice. Luckily I had time to spare, as in my haste I had forgotten to ask for the name of his practice and with no "shop address" to be seen I immediately felt my chest tighten and was about to hold my breath ( I mean.. with a few too many "shop fronts" that all could have been the place I was looking for, I was most likely going to be late) BUT.. thankfully, I was very aware that my body's reaction was set on "Auto Pilot" and I stopped straight away, took at deep breath and slowed down. allowing me - the real ME - to take control of the situation.

This led me straight through the automatic doors at Dr. L's practice (first go!)

In my flurry of trying to get there on time and meeting Dr. L. for the first time (he is a lot younger than I expected) my mind had drifted away from WHAT was going to happen there. I was well aware of WHY I was there. "This hurts", "That hurts", "Fix this", "What about..?", "Do I have.." "Help Me" and so on...

So we got chatting, as you do, and within a few moments Dr. L had left the room and I was lying face down, in my underwear, with a white sheet over my body (to be honest - I kind of felt like I was in some type of bad horror movie and someone had mistakenly taken me down to the morgue but I was still alive.. It was a little freaky)

ENTER room - Dr. L.
Softly spoken Dr. L begins general chit chat with me as he continues to massage my back. After a short while of vigorous massage, I am now lying on my back still chatting away with the interesting Dr. L.
Still un-aware of what is really going on, I notice him in the corner of my eye walking around the massage table and lightly touching particular areas of my body with some type of wipe. He does this without warning or hesitation and in only a few seconds. He then walks to his bench and then back again. This time those touches hurt!

I was aware of the pain but not of what was really going on as I was still distracted by his chitchat.

Dr.L: I will be back in 15 minutes to check on you.

GossipGirl: Pardon? Oh.. you are leaving?

Dr.L: Yes, but I will be back soon. Here is a panic button. If you need me for anything please press it and I will come back straight away.

GossipGirl: Um.. Ok. Thanks Dr.L.

(My train of thought shoots straight into the notion of having a "panic button" for everyday situations like; "Oh Shit, I stuffed up the roast chicken" GossipGirl presses the "panic button". In less than 8 minutes, the "panic button technical help team" have arrived and are well on the way to helping you cook that new dish for tonight's dinner - ah what an imagination I have)

So I am momentarily distracted lying there thinking about a fantasy world with "panic buttons" for everyday use.. when I become very relaxed. As that feeling comes over me I begin to shut my eyes.

Oh dear. I Shut my eyes for a few seconds.. Woah. When did Dr.L's practice move to the High Seas?? I open them again, hoping that sea-sick feeling was only temporary. Eyes open it went away. Maybe I'll try shut them one more time.. Nope bad idea.

Opening my eyes and feeling sick suddenly brought it to my attention that I am lying on a bed with lots of tiny sharp needles sticking into my body.

OH SHIT! I forgot to mention...
I AM TOTALLY AND UTTERLY SCARED SHITLESS OF NEEDLES!!!

And I know most people are not fond of them, I mean what kind of person would actually like having a needle?

"Sorry Boys, I wont be coming down to the pub with ya's this arvo. I've got to go get me tetanus shot. Oh, and its gonna feel so bloody brilliant"

Some of them hurt, some of the don't. Quite blantely obvious, the health benefits outweigh the hurt/discomfort.

So now I lay there, unable to move. I really cant move. I take a few deep breaths and relax again.

My nose starts to itch. I have a needle in my wrist. I scratch my nose and refuse to look at it. But I just cant help it, the needle is staring me in the face. All of a sudden I get light headed. The soothing Chinese music playing softly in the room adds to my emotion. The harp builds to a crescendo quite quickly. This reminds me of water and drowning and thus losing consciousnous. The music was fitting but I hated that feeling. I diverted my attention and started to wish Dr.L back in the room. I started to laugh. Uncontrollably. Amongst whimpers for this to end the laughing wouldn't stop.

Dr. L returns to the room only to find me in a crazy laughing fit telling him I'm ready to leave now. Nope. 20 more minutes.

I barely survive. I remember leaving and next thing i know i am beginning to write on my blog...